Contributor: ATTWN Staff
It doesn’t take long to find firsthand abortion experiences that aren’t the “shout your abortion” type. There is an immense amount of information that women aren’t being told about the aftermath of abortion: the lingering grief, regret, depression, “what could have been” thoughts, broken relationships, and negative physical side effects after medication abortions. Not every woman will experience these but many do and it doesn’t take a lot of effort to find those stories.
These women were all fed the lie that abortion is the best option, that it won’t cause any distress, that they need to think of themselves over anyone else. They bought it and are now suffering the effects. Here are their stories, which were all posted in the span of less than a week:
I would be lying if I said a part of me didn’t regret what I did
I just need to know I’m not alone. I found out I was pregnant April 4, and I took the abortion pill April 14th. The first full week of knowing I was pregnant was horrible due to the nausea that wouldn’t go away, and constant fatigue. i was starting to feel like I lost myself, and my body was no longer My body. I was relieved after I took the pill, and I thought I could easily put it all behind me. However, today was the first day I really processed it and I finally broke down. My partner and I are not financially in a place to support a baby, but boy.. do I constantly think about the what if’s. I want to be a mom more than anything, and I’m heartbroken to think I was so close to being one. I’m just hit with sadness and I constantly wonder what could have been. I would be lying if I said a part of me didn’t regret what I did, but I know in my heart it wouldn’t have been the right decision to keep it. I try not to think about it, but seeing babies in public, and even pregnancy announcements just makes me miss what I couldve had. (I hope this doesn’t come off as offensive, because I’m happy for anyone who is at that point in their lives. I wish I could be there too)
Has anyone felt like this? And is it something that usually stays with you? Does it get better?
I would’ve kept the child if he just said yes
I had my MA in February and still feel sadness and grudge. We made the decision with my bf (I’m 32 and he is 36) together, but I’ve started to feel like I would’ve kept the child if he just said yes. We had discussions back then and agreed together. I remember I said few times jokingly that if we would just keep it, him saying “no” and that it made me feel disappointed. The situation of being pregnant and having the child in few months would not have been ideal in our current circumstances but I think everything always works out in the end. We both want to build a family together and we will try probably next year (which also feels stupid)
Now, like I said I feel like I did it for him. I would’ve kept it in the end. I just can’t blame him, he didn’t push or manipulate me. He took care of me during the process. I’m just thinking, how it would’ve been if I was with someone else, could someone else had been more supportive. I’m also afraid that time is running out for me since I’m already 32.
I knew it would take time to recover mentally but I wonder how long? Being pregnant (despite of the 24/7 nausea) made me feel “complete” in a strange way, it felt right and I felt I have my purpose.
What should I think to get over of this loop of thoughts… Give it a time? Meditate? Therapy? I just feel SO bad seeing everyone around me being pregnant and having kids.
[I]t had passed in front of my eyes in my apartment bathroom
…i had an abortion a couple years ago. the year before, i had gone through traumatic healthcare situation…at the time my dr was scared and didn’t think that it would be able to survive and would disrupt my chemo schedules. all in all i got the abortion but i have never been so traumatized years later. i knew the gender and saw that it had passed in front of my eyes in my apartment bathroom. my state required me to wait to “make sure” and i was 4 months along.
i guess where im getting at is that i am SAD. i have been diagnosed with PPD from the event and also the year prior my healthcare struggles . i don’t know how to cope or sit in it. all i do is laugh things off and it’s funny to make others more comfortable, but its just so crippling. this mother’s day was the worst in how sad i felt knowing something could have been. where do you even heal or start the full understand of the trauma scab that just keeps getting picked open? i feel like i shouldn’t be sad bc it had to happen. But it leaves me constantly thinking about it and feels more bad than good in my heart/ head.
Had an abortion last year at 35yo and now I regret it.
Had an abortion last year at 35yo and now I regret it. I do not have kids so it would be my first child.i communicated to him at begging of relationship that I want to have kids and he said he also want them. I wanted to keep it but my boyfriend (39yo) convinced me that it’s not the time yet (maybe next year or in 2 year)and I went with the procedure. I regret it all the time – it’s my biggest regret. Now he just left me 2 weeks ago so I guess the time will never come for him at least not with with me… he already started dating 26yo girl. I can not get over of all the loss, of the loss of baby and the “future” baby he promised me. I am so scared that now I will not have another chance. Have anyone went thru the same at this stage of life?
For help in healing after an abortion, visit Project Rachel.