Contributor: ATTWN Staff
Key Takeaways:
- Partner issues are cited as a reason for almost a third of all abortions.
- Many women (and men) have reported feeling totally uninformed about the physical and emotional aftermath of the abortion pill, which spills into relationships.
- Abortion can be destabilizing for relationships, but no one can force you to have an abortion.
And Then There Were None has helped over 760 abortion workers leave their jobs in the abortion industry, and many of them have similar stories of their time in the clinics. One of the most commonly heard reasons for an abortion they heard from women was this: “My boyfriend wants me to have an abortion.”
Stats show that almost a third of women who have abortions do it for this reason. Issues with their partner or pressure from their partner are high on the list of why women have abortions.
Scrolling through r/abortion on Reddit, a haven for women who have had or are considering abortion, reveals that boyfriend/partner issues are high on the list of their concerns.
We dated for a month and broke up. I had realized that I was pregnant after 2 months. I let him know and he wanted me to get the abortion. He told me that he will stay with me if i get the abortion. He promised me that he will be there for me no matter how long it takes. I struggled a lot after I got had [sic] surgery. I had to go to IOP sessions and take depression medications. He left me after a month… At the end, we were in a huge fight that made me hit myself and he hit me and choked me. They got me the police case number for domestic violence.
I just feel so guilty and terrible and just wished he was a bit more understanding that this isn’t as simple as it seems. It feels like He is treating it as if it’s nothing. I got more emotional about it and still am and he doesn’t understand why I’m upset.
Before I went to talk to the doctor I called my boyfriend to get reassurance and he just sounds fend [sic] up with me because for the last 2 weeks I’ve been indecisive if I want to keep the baby or not. And he said he really wants to be a father but he’s fine with whatever I want to do. And hell [sic] stay with me no matter what….Now I come home and all his things he usually leaves by me is all packed up like he just left.
Men and the Abortion Pill
Unfortunately, due to the ease of obtaining the abortion pill, some men have taken matters into their own hands after their partner refused to have an abortion, secretly drugging them to cause the termination. Some men have already been sentenced to prison.
This is a very real threat to women. If you believe you are in harm’s way, get help. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can help.
Do Relationships Survive Abortion?
Abortion is often such a moment of intense emotions – grief, abandonment, resentment, sadness, relief – that relationships are strained to the point of no return.
While some relationships recover after an abortion, many do not. Partners mourn differently, or their relationship becomes a kind of prolonged mourning ritual for their baby and themselves.
A story on Marisol Health revealed, “one study found that couples who experience abortion were more likely to fight about children and money…. [and] While it’s impossible to predict exactly how abortion will affect your relationship with your partner, it can be a negative turning point.”
Feeling Blindsided by the Abortion Pill
A peer-reviewed study published in June 2026 by the Charlotte Lozier Institute is raising fresh questions about whether women who undergo medication abortions with abortion pills are receiving adequate information about what to expect before, during, and after the abortion.
Women in the study reported feeling the greatest need for more complete information in three areas: the physical symptoms of bleeding and pain, and the emotional and psychological impact of the process. The study found that many women, uncertain about what was “normal,” turned to online communities and forums to seek reassurance, process difficult emotions, and find answers to questions they felt their providers hadn’t adequately addressed.
Emotionally, women’s experiences were often layered and complex. Feelings of relief frequently coexisted with sadness, anxiety, guilt, and grief – a mix that many respondents indicated they had not been fully prepared for. This can easily play into the dynamic of a relationship that is already strained by an unplanned pregnancy or on couples who cannot handle the intense emotions surrounding abortion.
“The emotional impact of abortion is often understated by abortion clinics and supporters of abortion, which leads to a space where women who have intense emotions after abortion feel like they have nowhere to turn,” said Abby Johnson, CEO and Founder of And Then There Were None.
Feeling Pressured? There is Help.
No one can force a woman to have an abortion. If you need help when facing an unplanned pregnancy, please call or text Loveline. They are able to help with finding needed resources, counseling, and financial coaching.
Abortion is a definitive decision, and while there is hope of abortion reversal with the abortion pill (call the abortion pill reversal hotline immediately if you have taken the abortion pills and want to try to reverse it), there is no turning back with a surgical abortion. It’s a decision that will affect the rest of your life and cannot be undone.